Part 44 When Will I Be Famous?

Tenby tales, sloppy sandwiches and country hotels.

If Taylor Swift could manage to put a Like on this, surely you can.

Hiya! Back to stories this week, no faffing with recipes and all that this time.

OK, just to remind you, we had been to that fancy London and visited some restaurants, just looking for ideas really. Some restaurants gave us a shot of inspiration, some did not. Some were the opposite of inspiration, whatever that is.

And now we were back at work, and it was a nice feeling, the team had been on holiday at the same time so we all had stories to swap.

Briggy told me and Lozza about Tenby, the little cafes, the beautiful beaches, the crystal clear waters. Then she told us again, but in a different order. Then she told us about the great chippy she found. Then she told us about a little bench she found where she could sit and eat her chips while watching that Mediterranean Sea. Then she told us about a great shop which sold handmade pottery. Maybe she had forgotten that she’d told us about the pottery shop, because she told us again.

“Yea, great Briggy, so interesting, why don’t you tell Bud all about it when he comes in.”

Tricky Vicki assured us that no hippies had been sniffing around looking for quinoa and the toughened pane of glass was still propped up behind the wheelie bin. Great.

Lozza had a great time in London with her boyfriend, they also went to Sketch restaurant, which they thought was amazing. Then they spent a lot of time just mooching around London, staring at the sights and hanging around the famous parks.

Bud? He had three black bags of clean, ironed clothes. What a great Mam he had.

“Mate, she even ironed my socks.”

Rosie went on that big spending spree in Leeds and blew a tenner on a black top. Another one.

Well, we had a busy week ahead, it seemed that because we had been closed for a week, people were holding off for the week when we were back.

But, behind the scenes, Donna and I were seriously thinking about a bigger restaurant. If we had a bigger restaurant we could take all those customers who we were turning away. Then revenue would be greater, which in turn meant we could afford to employ a bigger team, then we wouldn’t have to work seventy five hours a week.

It seemed such a shame to turn so much business away, so many times the phone would ring and we would have to apologise and say that we were full.

“Good afternoon, Vanilla Black, how can I help?”

“Hi, do you have a table for three on Saturday the fifteenth at seven?”

“I’m sorry, we're fully booked on that Saturday night.”

“Are you sure? It’s two weeks away.”

“Yes, we do get booked up in advance.”

“So you have nothing, not even for a table of three?”

“Ah yes, sorry, that was a lie, we have loads of tables available, get yourself in, bring all your mates.”

We had started looking at commercial properties, only those within the city walls. Don’t forget, York still has a medieval wall surrounding it, and from a business point of view, it was best to be within this wall, that’s where most of the footfall was.

Funny, in hindsight, as we were offering something very different, we could have taken a site outside of the walls, people would have still headed to us, and we would have paid cheaper rent and rates. But if we had of, the future may have been very different to how it is now.

The problem was, there was very little available, and the properties which were available, were expensive. There were some pubs available in a few of the little outlying villages, but we weren't interested, it didn't seem to fit.

So that plan would have to wait, if there wasn’t a property, what could we do?

Back to the busy week. Vintage Cheddar and cabbage puddings were selling well. The bubble ’n’ squeak cakes with Swaledale cheese were getting a lot of attention, as were the mint and aubergine dumplings with pickled lemon.

Desserts, the black cherry crème brûlée was making people happy, however, the liquorice ice cream with strawberries was scaring people. Oh, but the Yorkshire curd and sultana tart with nutmeg ice cream was a popular lunchtime choice.

And big news, James, our new Saturday washer upper, had started with us. Remember him, he was Blackhead’s friend, not a boyfriend though.

We liked James, he learned quickly, he had a system within ten minutes. He put small items in the dishwasher, then got to work on the big stuff. By the time he had the burnt pans scraped and the oven trays degreased, the machine had finished so he could empty it. Sounds like a logical process, but it wasn't too apparent to a lot of people. Smart lad.

Right, we called James Cak Boy, not immediately, but several months after he started. The reason?

Well, James was a little on the sensitive side. That’s not meant in a derogatory way, he went to boxing club, so could handle himself, he could deliver a vicious little lefter. But he had a few feelings.

Well, one day, but not this first day, he took a break from washing up and did some food preparation, he liked doing that. This particular task was to cut chillis in half, remove the seeds, then cut the flesh into matchstick sized strips.

“Ow James, wear gloves man, you’ll have spicy fingers.”

“Nah, I’ll be alright.”

Kids these days!

Anyway, after service, James had a few hours off before he came back for the evening shift.

He was a grafter that James.

Kids these days!

Well, during this time, he went to the cinema to watch Snakes On A Plane, not sure why. Afterwards he rang to say that the chilli had made his fingers itch so he couldn't work the evening shift.

Now we knew this wasn’t true.

We decided that what actually happened was that James had been petrified half to death by Snakes On A Plane. He was shaken to his very core. The fright almost turned him to stone. That movie had frightened him so much that his bowels had given up and landed him with a trouser problem. And he was so embarrassed, he couldn't come back to work in that awful state.

We were certain of that, it was so obvious.

If you think that three quid should be donated to us for scribbling this stuff, that’s the button.

OK, so that’s how James became Cak Boy, through his Snakes On A Plane/Soiled Trouser situation, but back to our first week back at work.

On the Saturday, after lunch, Donna finished setting up the restaurant for the evening service and then popped out to get a few fresh flowers for the tables. It’s possible also that she had heard about a jumble sale in the vicinity.

When Donna came back she was carrying a local paper.

“Andrew, look at this.”

Donna showed me a review of a little country hotel in the paper, it was one of those small places, you know, five letting rooms. It was doing a vegetarian menu, that doesn't sound like much now, but back then it was quite unusual.

“Ey Donna, that’s interesting. It’s not too far away, we should go and see if it’s any good.”

But Donna had a different idea, an idea which would never have ran thorough my brain.

“Yes we could go, but I was thinking about something else.”

“Ahh, you mean we could stay there for a night. Yes, good idea.”

“No. We could open a small hotel, something with just a few bedrooms. But it would be vegetarian.”

I was bit lost, “But why?”

“Well, we can’t find anything in York, so why not go further out? A special little hotel but with a restaurant, a vegetarian restaurant.”

“Oh yea, restaurants with rooms are quite popular, yea, we could do that couldn't we.”

We quickly chatted a bit more, there wasn't time to go into it right then, but we had an idea that if we sold the restaurant, and our house, we could buy a small place. That’s how easily these plans can fall into place.

Oh no, we were on the move again.

Meanwhile, Cak Boy was racing through his first shift. We got chatting a bit more, it turned out he was in a band, but they didn't have a name at that point.

“What type of music do you play James?”

“Well, like rock, a bit of alternative stuff.”

“OK, give us an example of which bands influence you.”

“Err, the Pixies, that type of thing. But we’ve only just started, we’re not really doing much at the moment.”

“Hey Lozza, James is in a band, they’re gonna be famous.”

“Ey that’s great James. What’s the band called?”

James was getting a bit awkward now.

“Well, we’ve only just got together, like a couple of weeks ago. So we’re not exactly….well, we’re not really formed yet”

Didn't matter to us, we would have some fun.

“Lozza, think of a name for James’s band.”

“The Bastards.”

“That’s a good one, it’s got attitude, do you like that James?”

“Not really. And we’re not really at the naming stage yet”

“Oh I know James, what about, are you ready? The Rangers?”

“Oh no, that’s awful.”

“Hey Donna, James is in a band and they’re going to be really famous. Like bigger than Oasis. But they need a name, can you think of anything?”

“Oh that sounds good James. So you’re going to be famous. How about The Overtones?”

“James. There it is, The Overtones, what do you think?”

“Well, I can put it to the lads, but like I keep saying, it’s just an idea at the moment.”

Then I caught sight of a bottle of cleaning spray on the side, “James, I’ve got it, Safe Sanitizer, how about that?”

“Yea, I’ll have a think.”

Then Lozza jumped in, “Hang on James, why is it just an idea at the moment? You said you were in a band?”

“Like I keep saying, we’re not exactly formed yet, we’re just like, discussing it.”

“Woooooo, you said you were like The Pixies. You said you were gonna be bigger than Oasis. what’s going on?”

He was getting a little defensive now, “No I never, you lot started saying all that, I’ve been saying that we’ve just started. You lot have got me on the main stage at Glastonbury and we haven't even practised yet.”

Anyway, as the busy day was coming to the end, it was time to do the clear out. You see, it was Saturday, and a lot of the food wouldn't keep until we opened back up on Tuesday. Some stuff would, pineapple pickle, red wine reduction, they were OK, but a cabbage pudding, no.

So trying to avoid food waste was a juggling game, but also trying to make sure we didn’t run out of anything was important too. We were always looking at the bookings and calculating how much prep to do. But you could guarantee that there would be a few items which were left over, that’s the way it is.*

So on this particular day, Cak Boy day, as we were just about to lob a few bits in the bin, Cak Boy saw what was happening.

“Hang on, don’t you want these quail eggs or cheese puddings?”

“Well they won’t keep until Tuesday, so they have to go.”

“Can I eat them?”

‘Errr, yea, if you want. I’ve got some baked beetroot as well if you want that as well?”

“Aye, go on then.”

Now, as this was a small restaurant, and we were very friendly, and nice, I had a good idea.

“How about I make you a sandwich? I’ll use all those bits?”

“Oh yea, go on then.”

Which items would you choose to go in the Cak Boy sandwich?.

So, Lozza cut two thick slices of white bread for James, I heated up the cheese puddings and beetroot and looked around for a some more deliciousness. Walnut cookies, they could go in, spot on. We squeezed everything onto a slice of bread for Cak Boy, but it needed one more element, a little bit of diddly do. Ahh, a quick grind of black pepper. On went the bread lid, and James was away.

He loved it, he was dead chuffed was our James.

So, every Saturday evening, the Cak Boy Sandwich appeared. Two thick slices of bread and everything which was not going to last until Tuesday, was squeezed into that sandwich. These things were huge, and usually sloppy, sometimes he had to eat them with a knife and fork because he couldn't pick them up. But there was a rule, nothing sweet ever went in that sandwich, Cak boy had standards.

The variety was endless, that lad was so lucky.

Cak Boy, here we go……..

Lettuce, spring onion, mayonnaise, potatoes, black olive patè, smoked duck egg and carrots.

James look……..

Warmed Ribblesdale cheese pudding, cheese sauce, tamarind, aubergine dumplings, and it’s dressed with a little lunchtime soup.

But hang on, what about that little country hotel idea? No time for that now, catch you next week.

Thanks for reading, Donna and Andrew

*There was a story we heard about a Michelin star restaurant in London which had a great technique for using up foods which couldn't carry on past Saturday night. They came up with a surprise tasting menu, it ran on a Saturday night only. So, to clarify, when the meat course was going out, if it was a table of four, and there was four racks of lamb left in the fridge, they went to that table. But the meat course on the next table would possibly be pork, or whatever needed using. Same with the other courses, it changed on each table according to what needed using. Clever.