Part 75 Saturday Night

Dumplings, strong beer and big blokes.

Did you know, if you put a Like at the end of this, slow walkers will never be in front of you when you’re in a rush.

Look at that, 75 Posts, didn’t think we’d get this far. If you’ve been reading these from the beginning, well done, you trooper.

Right, let’s go. Continuing on from last week, hopefully you remember that Tina Terminator threatened to take us to a Czech pub, and we were hoping that she’d forgotten about it.

Well she didn’t forget, she arrived to work a couple of days later and announced, “I’ve booked it, we’re going to the Czech pub.”

Donna was the first one to hear the news, “Oh great, and are they OK to do a vegetarian option?”

“Yes I told them, don’t worry, they’ll listen to me.”

“I don’t doubt it Tina.”

Then Tina pelted downstairs to tell us in the kitchen, “Guys, it’s booked, we’re going to the Czech pub.”

Ben was excited about this, “Yea yea, cool cool. When Tina?” When was a good question.

“Saturday, at six.”

“Err, yea yea, cool.”

Lozza and I were less enthusiastic.

“Lozza, I really don’t know what to expect, what do you think it’ll be like?”

“No idea, probably just a pub with dumplings on the menu.”

Then I had an idea, “Ben, I’m gonna tell Tina that I’m so excited about the Czech pub. But I’m gonna go over the top about it, way over the top. And then, on Friday, I’ll tell her that I don’t want to go.”

Ben looked worried, “No don’t man, she’ll flip, you know what she’s like.”

“Ha no, it’ll be funny.”

What Ben didn’t realise, is that it was these stupid pranks which took the mind away from worrying about the bills and the rent.

So every day, about six to eight times a day, I told Tina how excited I was about going to the Czech pub.

“Hey Tina, I can’t wait for Saturday, I’m so excited about the Czech pub.”

“Hey Tina, I wish we were there now, I’m so excited.”

“Tina, I’m so excited about the Czech pub, it’s making me want a wee.”

“Oh Tina, I just can’t wait for the Czech pub.”

Fortunately, Tina believed me and replied with, “Good, you’re gonna love it/Yes it will be a good night/Go to the toilet then/Yes yes, Saturday will be here soon.”

I thought this was funny, nobody else did.

But I continued to tell Tina Terminator how excited I was, all week.

And when Friday came around, Tina was excited also, “Hey don’t forget, tomorrow we’re going to the Czech pub.”

This was my cue, I’d told her I was excited umpteen times a day, for four days, but now for my funny line, the one which was going to send Tina into a rage.

“Tina.”

“What?”

“I don’t want to go to the Czech pub.”

And Tina’s response, Tina’s explosion, her pissed off rant, it went like this.

“Well you’re going.”

After all that, that’s all she had to say. That was a waste of time.

On Saturday night Donna, myself, Lozza and Ben, met at Kings Cross station and made our way to West Hampstead. When we arrived Ben told us he had a good idea where it was because he took the trouble to look at a map earlier.

So we marched to the Czech pub, turning left and right, and not really expecting much apart from a pub full of clay dumplings.

Then Ben, like a triumphant explorer, announced, “There it is.”

“Where Ben?”

Ben pointed, “There, yea yea, that’s it.”

Lozza said the same thing which we were thinking, “It just looks like a house.”

But sure enough, there was a sign outside which told us that yes, this was the place.

If you think we deserve three quid to buy a Moccacino, that’s the button.

The four of us edged in, we were just on time. When we opened the door we were met a clash of voices and laughter. Had we gatecrashed a party! We edged our way down a small corridor, wondering what to expect.

And from a door on the right, Tina popped out, “Hey guys you’re here, come and meet Lukas.”

Tina was very giddy. She spun around and reached back into the room. When she turned around she had hold of a very smiley guy, “This is my Lucas.”

This little fella reached out both of his hands, ready for shaking, “Hi hi, Tina has told me you’re excited to be here. You’re gonna love it.”

We shook the happy hands of happy Lukas and he beckoned us to the bar.

A random pic of some food from our restaurant. Crispy and sticky rice with pickled cucumber and ginger ketchup..

There was no party, this place was just incredibly busy. People were talking loudly, laughing, moving from person to person, shaking hands. We had no idea what was going on.

Ben turned to me and said, “Errr yea yea, I feel like a fish in a tree.”

Tina took Donna and Lozza through to another room and Lukas stood at the bar waiting for Ben and I.

“What you having?” he shouted over the noise.

Ben and I couldn’t answer, we didn’t recognise any of the beers.

But no problem, Ben had the correct answer, “Err yea yea, I’ll have a pint of the strongest.”

Lukas looked a bit concerned, “You sure?”

“Yea yea, cool.”

“I’ll have the same.”

Lukas said something to the bar bloke and two pints arrived, “Drink these now then we’ll order more then go through to the room.”

So we started to sip our beers, but Lukas wasn’t happy, “No no, faster, we have a table booked.”

So Ben and I drank them as fast as we could, then Lukas spoke to the bar guy, who in turn, started to fill a tray with drinks.

As we stood drinking our beers Ben nudged me and nodded in the direction of the other people in the room.

“What’s wrong Ben?”

“Have you seen some of the guys in here? They’re like giants.”

I hadn’t noticed, but yea, it’s like we were on the set of The Expendables.

The bar bloke added the last glass of beer to the tray, which was way more than we needed, and Lukas took it, then said something which we assumed was Czech for ‘Thanks’, or, ‘This will see them off’.

We followed Lukas The Tray Carrier into the next room. And it wasn’t what we expected.

This room was very smart, white linen tablecloths on the tables, neatly set cutlery and classic pictures on the walls. Not we expected of a dumpling room.

The six of us sat and Lukas allocated drinks from the tray. Donna asked what type of beer it was, Ben replied, “Strong.”

A waitress arrived and Tina spoke to her in Czech, then turned to us and told us that she’d ordered for us.

Lozza asked what we were having and we braced ourselves, just in case it was dumplings.

“You’re having cabbage soup, then dumplings.”

Ben must have had a flashback, in fact, Ben was probably still digesting the dumplings he had a week ago. “Err, yea yea, dumplings, I’m OK with just the soup, I’m not a big eater.”

Tina put him straight, “Rubbish. Look what you’re drinking, you need dumplings.”

Ben’s face dropped, he had no choice but to go along with the dumpling challenge again. And Tina wasn’t wrong, these beers were potent.

The soup arrived in a wide rimmed white bowl, and this soup looked like clear water, with some shredded cabbage milling around in it.

Tina lifted her spoon and readied herself, almost as if this was her first time eating soup, “Let’s go.”

So the four of us joined Lukas and Tina. And after one spoonful we each looked at each other, Donna spoke first.

“Wow, this is really good.”

And it was good, that clear water tasted intensely of cabbage, but with a hint of caraway. And the shredded cabbage seemed as if it had been fried first to intensify the flavour. Impressive.

Tina wanted to know what we thought, “It’s good isn’t it?”

We agreed, we were becoming converted, “Good. Dumplings next.”

Oh no!

But as our plates were placed in front of us, we were a bit baffled. They didn’t look like Tina’s tennis balls, they were thinly sliced and placed around a stew of tomatoes and vegetables. Tina, Lukas and Lozza had a meaty version.

And the taste, the dumplings had a pleasant yeasty bread flavour and there were little specks of thyme which helped to give a little interest.

And light, so light, the fork just sank gently into them, and they broke away without effort. We ate them quickly, they were so easy to eat.

Tina knew we approved, “Guys, dessert next.”

Ben looked over the top of his glasses at Tina, “Is it dumplings again?”

Tina leaned forward across the table, “Oh yes Ben, fruit dumplings, the best part of the meal.”

As we waited for more dumplings, Lukas pushed us to drink the beers from the tray, “Help yourself guys, come on, I’ll order more.”

And after a couple of nods and hand gestures from Lukas, another large tray of beers arrived, “I’ve asked for a few different types so that you can taste some other beers.”

To be honest, after a few more, they all tasted the same. Bloody strong.

The dessert arrived, and again it was nothing like Tina’s dumplings. Tina’s dumplings were big, heavy and dense. And Tina’s were served with a grey, unsweetened sauce, and a spoonful of jam.

This dumpling looked like it had been steamed, it was as white as snow. And it sat on a small pool of something which looked like custard, but a little paler, and dotted with vanilla seeds.

And when we cut into it, a raspberry purée spilled out and mixed itself with the vanilla sauce.

We all gave a little ‘Ahhh’ when that happened, apart from Tina, “It’s stupid when they do that.”

The six of us ate that sweet snowball of a dumpling, and chased the sauce around the plate, making sure that we did miss anything.

Remarkably, Ben finished first, he obviously wasn’t scarred by Dumplinggate from the week prior. “That was amazing, yea yea, pretty cool.” Then he started on yet another pint of beer.

As each of us finished or sweet dumplings we agreed with Ben, we were very pleasantly surprised.

And it was Tina who was last to finish. She placed her spoon onto the empty plate and leaned back in her chair with her hands on her belly……………

“Perfect, just as good as mine.”

We staggered badly out of that pub, full of dumplings and strong beer. Ben patted huge blokes on the shoulders as if he was best buddies with them, and we meandered our way through to the exit door. After that…….no idea.

If you fancy visiting the Czech pub, you can, there’s a link here. Although, since we visited in 2008 it’s now called Bohemia House, but it still does dumplings.

https://bohemiahouse.london/

Catch us next week as something else happens.

Thanks for reading this tale, Donna and Andrew.