Part 74 Sugar Dumpling

Thick milk, bigger plates and The Terminator

Did you know, if you put a Like at the end of this, your suitcase will always be first out on the airport carousel.

Hiya, how you doing? That’s good.

Welcome back to our weekly instalment. And this week, no tales of woe, no whining on about having no customers and we won’t harp on about being skint.

But what we will tell you, is how different London is to the rest of the United Kingdom. There were so many new habits to form, lessons to learn and procedures to follow, or not follow.

But first of all, the people.

People came from around the globe to use London as a platform to reach higher goals, to live the dreams. More opportunities, more prospects and many more chances. And some of them met many a chancer.

And meeting these people was something which Donna and I enjoyed very much. The stories they told us about their home lands, the realities they shared with us about their lives ‘back home’, and the many swear words they taught us. Fascinating.

Take Tina Terminator* as an example. You remember Martina from the last couple of weeks. Tina was always in fifth gear, Tina could move at lightning speed, Tina could wash up a stack of pots before you could say, “Tina could you wash……..”.

“I’ve done them.”

Tina spoke in quite a curt manner, she came across as a bit snappy. But once she was on the restaurant floor in front of customers, she would flick a switch and become instantly charming.

“Good afternoon Sir, lovely to meet you.”

“Hey Donna, where did Tina Terminator go?”

And Tina was strong also, she didn’t look it, but she could move more than most.

“Hey Tina, can you help me carry this table downstairs?”

“Move out of the way, I’ll do it.”

And there was Tina, arms stretched around a table which was nearly as big as her, trotting down the stairs as if she was carrying a pillow.

Tina was very proud of her country, the Czech Republic, Tina told us about how great it was, many times.

And like many people, Tina had arrived to London to earn some money, to learn English and to have some new experiences.

Tina wasn’t a vegetarian, but she enjoyed working at Vanilla Black, the vegetables, the cooking methods, the inventive dishes, she was fascinated. Generally, Tina Terminator was interested in cooking.

If you think this writing deserves three quid so we can buy half a cup of coffee, that’s the button.

So one particular fine day, the conversation came around to the cuisine of Tina’s country, maybe there would be some inspiration, something which we could adapt and run into our menu. And remember, we were a small team, Donna, myself, Tina, Ben and Lozza. So these conversations were quite cozy.

“Hey Tina, what dish do you miss most from your country? Is there a recipe for something which you make here in London?”

And in her brusque, off the restaurant floor voice she replied, “Dumplings.”

Czech dumplings, pic from Sonia Bozzo at All Recipes.

Ben was intrigued, “Yea yea, dumplings, yea, sounds cool. And what do you serve them with Tina?”

“Fruit. Blueberries, strawberries or raspberries. That type of thing.”

Lozza wanted to know more, “And do you use self raising flour to make them rise?”

“No. Yeast, we use yeast.”

Lozza was a little confused, “So they’re a bit like bread?”

Tina Terminator snapped back, “No, of course not, they’re dumplings.”

Then Donna asked, “So is it a fruit sauce or is the fruit just served by the side?”

“Well some people put the fruit inside, so it’s a nice surprise. But I don’t do that, it’s stupid, I put the fruit on top.”

Now my turn to ask, “Are they quite light or heavy Tina?”

“They’re very light, like clouds. Look, I’m gonna make you some. I’ll make some at home and bring them in for you all to taste. You’re gonna love them.”

Ben was pleased about this, “Yea yea cool, some authentic Czech food. Cool.”

The dumpling conversation came to an end and we forgot about the dumplings.

But sure enough, a couple of days later, Tina Terminator arrived to work with a big Tupperware box and a glass jug wrapped in tin foil. And before we all started our tasks, Tina demanded that we have dumplings for breakfast.

Lozza fetched some little plates and Donna brought over a handful of spoons.

But before Tina started her dumpling speech she pointed at Lozza and barked, “Bring bigger plates.” Lozza obeyed.

We all stood around Tina in the washing up room. This room was quite small, so when five of us were stood together, it was a little snug.

Lozza arrived with some main course plates and Tina Terminator started.

“They’re very light, that’s because of the yeast. I make them, then let them rise, then I boil them in milk.”

Ben was focused on Tina’s speech, he was eager to learn, “Yea yea, so they’re cooked in the milk, yea?”

“Yes, that’s what I said. Then I make a sauce with the milk, I don’t waste anything.”

Ben was mentally putting the dish together, “Yea yea, a sauce, yea. So you thicken it and add some sugar?”

“Yes I thicken it, but no sugar, the fruit is sweet enough.”

“Yea yea cool.”

Tina opened the Tupperware box and took out the dumplings. They were huge, about the size of a tennis ball.

I was surprised, “Tina, I thought they would be quite small?”

And in that gruff voice she replied, “No, this is real food.”

She dropped one for each of us onto the plates. She then poured some of the sauce over the top, straight from that foil covered jug.

Ben piped up, “Err, yea yea, sauce, are you going to warm it first?”

“No, I made it before I left the house, it’s still warm.”

We each stood with a plate in our hands which contained a dumpling mountain and some tepid sauce. Then Tina Terminator reached into her rucksack and announced, “Now for the fruit.”

Tina held up a jar of jam from Sainsburys. “Right, bring your plate over.”

Tina plopped a spoonful of strawberry jam on top of our dumplings, and Lozza asked, “So this is the fruit?”

“Of course it is, what do you think it is? Right, eat up.”

So the the five of us stood in a circle and started to cut into our dumplings. They were tough, so tough that they skidded around the plate because the spoon wouldn’t break their skin.

Tina noticed this, “Yes they’re a bit hard because they’re cold. Don’t worry, the sauce will warm them up.”

We were silent as we each ate a very dense, unsweetened globe of bread, they definitely weren’t cloud like. On top of this was some thick, unsweetened tepid milk, which had started to become gelatinous as it sat on the cold dumpling. This was all topped off with a little spoonful of quivering jam.

Tina Terminator quickly dug into hers, “Yes, it’s good.”

The rest of us took small spoonfuls and ate them, with as much fake enthusiasm as possible. The dumplings weren’t dry, they’d been boiled in the milk so they were quite moist. But it was the density which was the problem, it was like trying to eat moist clay.

And because the dumplings contained no sugar, and the sauce contained no sugar, the blandness was actually sickening. The jam was a slight saviour, but there wasn’t enough. So each of us followed suite and cut off little pieces to sweeten the the clay ball and the pale grey sauce.

Tina watched us, she was studying our reactions, “What do you think? They’re good aren’t they?”

There was a three second silence, then Ben replied, politely, “Err, yea cool, yea, really good.”

And before the rest of us replied, Tina stepped in front of Ben, then quickly scraped the dumpling, cooled set milk, and jam, onto Ben’s plate.

“Have mine then, I had Cornflakes earlier, I don’t need dumplings.”

So now Ben has double dumplings. He stared at his plate and his mouth was slightly open, but he couldn’t complain because he had just told Tina that they were great. But no way could he eat two of them, we were all struggling with one.

Ben looked up at Tina and broke his silence, “Err, yea, can I have some more jam?”

“Jam, you don’t need more jam, too much sugar is bad for you.”

Like a scolded child Ben put his head down and took another spoonful of the dumpling. And although Myself, Donna and Lozza felt sorry for Ben, we also found it incredibly funny. Standing in that room in front of Tina Terminator and eating those dumplings felt like being in a Victorian workhouse. Eating a plateful of inedible food, and being grateful for it, this required some excellent acting skills.

And now Ben had to put double the amount of work in.

Tina stood with her arms folded and told us more stories about the Czech Republic as we finished the last of our dumplings of clay. Tina noticed that Ben was struggling with his double dumplings, “Come on Ben, you need feeding, you’re too skinny.”

A film of perspiration had formed over Ben’s forehead as he scooped up more of the cold thickened milk, “Err, yea yea, but I’m not skinny.”

Tina didn’t hear Ben, but she turned to the rest of us, those who had passed the finish line, “I knew you would like my dumplings, leave your plates, I’ll wash them.”

Ben saw his chance to escape, “Yea yea, I’ll take mine to the kitchen and finish it.”

Tina Terminator wasn’t having any of that, “Hurry up and finish Ben, I’ll wait for your plate so I can wash it.”

Ben continued to finish his dumplings and we placed our plates in the sink, but Tina had one more thing to add….

“Hey I’ve got an idea, we could all go to the Czech pub. They do dumplings and traditional Czech food. You’re gonna love it, I know you will.”

Donna was curious, “A Czech pub, where is it Tina?”

“West Hampstead. The food is very good. And they have lots of beers from my country.”

Ben scraped the remnants from his plate, took a breath and asked, “Czech beers, yea yea, that would be cool, I’m up for that. But I’m OK for food, I don’t think there’ll be any veggie options.”

Ben had obviously had his fill of Czech dumplings and was using the vegetarian card as an excuse.

Donna and I were just about to jump in with the same excuse card, we’d had enough of dumpy dumplings, but joy of joys Tina had it sorted, “Don’t worry, they’ll make some vegetarian food, I’ll tell them to do it, they know me.”

We wandered off, all hoping that Tina would forget about dragging us to the Czech pub to make us eat more dumplings. And when we were out of ear shot, we had a good laugh at Ben for being full of dumplings.

But behind this fun and laughter, there was something wrong with Lozza. She wasn’t her usual self, over the previous weeks she seemed increasingly distant.

If you remember correctly, Lozza had moved from York to London to work at the restaurant with us. She had left her friends, and her boyfriend, and started a new life. But on her days off she was straight back on the train to York. She lived in London, but she wasn’t living in London. Maybe, at nineteen years old, she was too young to be away from her home town. We often asked if she was OK and she told us that she was. But we knew something wasn’t right.

Right, that’s enough for now, thanks for reading Part 74.

If you want us to tell you about a night out at the Czech pub in Part 75, let us know in the comments box. If you don’t, we’ll go back to moaning about being virtually bankrupt again.

Catch you later, Donna and Andrew

*In the 1984 movie, Terminator, there is a part which shows Arnold Schwarzenegger, as the Terminator, walk into a police station and ask to see Sarah Connor. When his request is denied he replies, “I’ll be back.”

However, when Arnold and the writer, James Cameron were going through the script, Arnold argued that as the Terminator was a machine, therefore it wouldn’t say “I’ll be back”, instead it would say “I will be back.” This debate went on for some time but eventually James pulled rank, as he was the writer, and insisted that the Terminator would say the line, “I’ll be back.”

You know the rest.

A random picture which has nothing to do with the story.