Part 42 West End Girls

Hopscotch, diamond loos and candied peppers.

OK, we need to confess something, this week should have been the Foodie One. But we need to carry on with the story about fancy London restaurants, oh yea, and a trip to Brighton.

So hopefully we can cram everything into this Post, just need to stay on track.

Right then, we’d heard about this restaurant called Sketch, it was mentioned in a few magazines and people were saying that they were doing some amazing things with vegetables. Well, if people were saying it, then it must be true. But after our first meal at a fancy vegetarian restaurant, The Mung Bean, we didn't have a lot of faith in these fancy restaurants.

And here we went again, we got ourselves dressed up to the nines and strutted out of the Travelodge and over to Kings Cross station. We knew that we had to be at Oxford Circus at 7pm, and it was only a centimetre away according to the tube map. But we were making no mistakes, we set off extra early this time.

In hindsight, and if you aren't familiar with the London tube system, you wouldn't know this, as we didn’t, we later realised that it would have been quicker to walk.

We arrived at Oxford Circus at around six thirty on a Wednesday, along with crowds of other people. We were intrigued, there must have been an event or a protest going on, so we stayed for a few minutes to have a nosey.

Nope, it was just a regular day in London. In our home town of Stockton on Tees everyone would have been at home having their tea at this time.

Now, we knew that we needed to be on Regent Street*, then take a right onto Conduit Street, so we did just that. Strangely, it took all of about five minutes and we had found it. To be honest it didn't look much, well not as we expected. It just looked like somebody's house. By now were were about fifteen minutes early, maybe they would let us in.

Just so you know, this restaurant was sectioned into different zones, like several different restaurants but all in one building, and all run by the same company. The part we had booked was The Lecture Room and Library, it had one of those Michelin stars, today it has three Michelin stars, the most you can be awarded.

OK, what were were actually expecting was a reception desk, then a white room with a dozen tables, cloaked in sharp white table cloths. We expected some snooty waiters, who would spot our northern accents and therefore sit us next to the lavy. There would be some candles on the tables and and artwork on the walls by Constable, you know, horses stood next to haystacks and peasants washing their shell suits in a beck. That’s what posh restaurants look like.

We walked up a couple of steps and into a small foyer. It was a bit dark and we couldn't see much. But we did see this tall thin bloke, he had a big smile and seemed happy to see us.

“Helloooooooo, and good evening to you.”

That’s how it’s done Slug Boy.

“Oh, hello, we have a reservation for 7pm but we’re a little early. Is that OK?”

“Of course it is. Where are you from by the way?”

“Thanks, well, we’re originally from Stockton on Tees but now we live in York and we…….”

“York, oh I love York. Sasha, these are our friends from York, please take their coats will you?”

Isn't it strange, even though you know this guy was just doing his job, and he wasn't really our friend, you felt special.

“Follow me, follow me,” he sang, this guy had surely been to drama school.

And as we followed him down the corridor, Donna nudged me and pointed at the Hopscotch marked out on the floor. Wow!

Then up the wide carpeted staircase we went, all the time this guy was telling us about the building, which we thought was just someone’s house.

He stopped on the stairs and turned to face us, “At one time the building was used by the suffragette movement as their headquarters, and it was also used by Christian Dior, in fact, some of the soft furnishings which belonged to Dior, still remain.”

We were sold. This place could serve up Barbed Wire Balti or Beanbag Soup, we would have loved it anyway.

And when we arrived to the top of the stairs, we were stopped by two huge doors, we couldn't go any further.

So what did Mr. Hospitality do?

He stood in front of the doors and flung them wide open.

“Welcome my friends,” and he walked into the room, and we followed.

We can’t recall everything about the dining room, there was too much going on, but the walls were padded white leather, the curtains were shimmering beads, the chairs were all different colours, there were huge fabric shades hanging from the ceiling. There certainly weren't any Ikea candles on the tables.

A picture from the Sketch website, take a little looky.

Our friend took us to a table and promised us the full tour of the restaurant after our meal. This was amazing, it was like a restaurant within a magical theme park.

So off he went and along came another chap, and this fella had a little table with him, “For your bag Madam.”

What? A table just for Donna’s bag. A vintage bag which was probably bought at a jumble sale for a pound. Mad! Just so you know, a lot of high end restaurants did this twenty years ago, but we hadn't seen anything like it.

So the three of sat at the table and looked through the menu. And you didn't just read through the options, you had to try to understand the pairings, it was interesting, it was challenging. No veggie curry here.

We ordered some drinks and chose the tasting menu. A tasting menu, for those who are unsure, is basically many courses, say eight or ten, but they're smaller. It’s designed to give you a taste of everything, instead of a three course menu, which doesn't really showcase what the kitchen can do. It costs more also.

OK, we can’t remember exactly what we had, it was a while back, but there was definitely a Jerusalem artichoke soup with Jerusalem artichoke ice cream, So it was like having the same vegetable but in different forms and temperatures. It was very good, but as a chef I couldn't get how the ice cream was made. You see, you need a sugar content in ice cream to give a smooth mouth feel, but this wasn't sweet, it didn't make sense. But some years later, it did. More of that later.

Candied red peppers were on the dessert, brilliant. Why wouldn't they be, they contain seeds, so they're a fruit.

The food made Donna and I discuss what we were eating, but not in a Jean and Jim manner.

“Oh Jim, this Minestrone soup is tasty, nice and hot as well.”

It made us think and question, how did they manage to make a clear wafer, how did they shape chocolate around that shell?

How were they communicating with the kitchen which was three floors away? Where were the drinks being kept and prepared, they just appeared on trays.

We were inspired by the whole experience. They placed importance on all of the elements of dining out. The food, service, decor and atmosphere. You can have some buck snorter food, but if the waiter is off with you, or the cutlery is dirty, the experience is ruined.

Then Donna went to the loo. Then she came back.

“Go to the toilet.”

“I don't want to.”

“Just go, you’ll see.”

“Oh, ok then.”

As I walked towards those big doors, a waiter came over to help me open them.

“Oi, do I look weak?”

He opened the large doors, then walked me to the toilets. He had a little grin on his face.

When I walked in I realised why he was grinning. Everything was covered in jewels, the walls the cistern, the lot. Yes, jewels.

See, told you the streets of London are paved with gold.

We finished the meal and it was dead good. Then the waiter took us downstairs, past the Hopscotch and towards the reception area. Oddly, this is where we paid, not in the main restaurant. The bill was quite hefty like, but we didn't care, we’d been to Wonderland.

But hang on, Mr. Hospitality appeared, “My friends from York, I promised you a tour, come with me, come with me.”

And he took us around this huge building, through the other restaurant areas, past other diners who looked at us as if we weren't northern peasants.

These areas were just as impressive as upstairs, Google Sketch restaurant, that’ll save us describing it.

Then Mr. Hospitality swung around to face us, “Oh the bathrooms, I must show you the bathrooms.”

“It’s ok, thanks, we’ve seen them.”

“Noooo, you haven't seen these.”

He took us to a room, and inside this room there were eggs. But these eggs were large enough for a person to get in, and some were highlighted in blue lights and some in pink lights. Male and female. Mr. Hospitality opened one, and inside was a toilet.

He was right, we hadn't seen these.

Now we’re not daft, Mr. Hospitality did this routine with everyone, but this was brilliant marketing. It must have been, we’re telling you about it now, all these years later.

Yes, another picture from the Sketch website. Have a look, the website is bonkers.

And the next day we were off again on our food travels. We headed to Kings Cross station, but this time it was at nine in the morning, the commuters were still running all directions, but now they were bleary eyed. We boarded our train to Brighton to have lunch at Terre a Terre.

If you think we deserve a coffee for remembering all these stories, that’s the coffee button.

An hour and a half later we arrived, we left the train and flooded the streets of Brighton with a big bunch of tourists.

We mooched around the the streets and lanes of Brighton, if you haven't done this, have a go, it’s an interesting place, and it has such a great vibe. It felt quite alternative to us, quirky.

We arrived for our 1pm reservation at Terre a Terre, a vegetarian restaurant which we had heard lots about. It had been open since 1993, that was eleven years before we had opened, that’s good going in the world of hospitality.

Back then Terre a Terre had burgundy walls and lots of bright colours. We recall that the dining space was huge, we expected it to be about thirty covers, the same as our restaurant, and they even had a little outside eating area. And the menu confused us, each dish was described in great detail, we’d never heard of some of the ingredients, and the dishes had funny names.

And the food was interesting, way better than The Mung Bean in London. I remember having an aubergine dish which had lots of bits ’n’ pieces with it. Donna had a take on fish and chips, Halloumi cheese which had been battered and deep fried, served with a pickly lemon thing. This dish has now been copied by so many other restaurants.

The place was buzzy, and it was and busy for a lunchtime. Staff were knowledge, casual but professional. They knew their stuff.

Terre a Terre was doing its own thing, they put thought into the food, it didn't feel complacent, even after many years of being open. We liked this approach, and we likened it to what we were doing at Vanilla Black. Also, it was motivating to us to see such a large restaurant so busy, we thought we were doing well by filling our little restaurant, but this was impressive.

These guys were doing well, they’d been around longer than Stonehenge. And they were inspiring, nobody was doing what they were doing back then.

A day or two later we were back in York, we had new eyes, mental sparks were flying, and we were starting to set new goals and targets.

We needed a bigger restaurant, others were doing it, so we could.

We needed a plan, a goal, a target, we needed a change.

Right, that’s enough, thanks for reading and catch you next week.

Donna and Andrew.

*Although Regent Street, Oxford Circus, Covent Garden and Soho feel as if they are central London, they are classed as the West End. This is because at one time, central London was Saint Paul’s Cathedral and the Tower of London. As time went on the area around Westminster Abbey started to grow, therefore anything to the west of Saint Paul’s and the Tower of London, became known as The West End.