Part 112 Smoko

Burdock root, tarragon waffles and jars.

Did you know, if you put a Like at the end of this, you’ll suddenly remember where you put your tile cutter.

Hello you.

Right, let’s crack on. If you need a recap, it’s this. We’re much busier than when we first started out and there is never a day when we have zero customers. The curtain has come down, we’re using all the tables and chairs which we bought and we discuss ways to improve daily.

The food has changed since the early days also. Starters now included, Brie ice cream with rhubarb chutney and gingerbread, or how about a salad with foraged wild flowers Yorkshire Feta and salt ’n’ vinegar gel.

And main course? Fried mushroom mousse with tarragon waffles or a tomato and marjoram tart with frozen corn and mint and yoghurt curds.

You could have finished off with a Valrhona chocolate tart with aerated cherry beer. If you wanted.

Now, this may sound half decent, but as far as we were concerned, it had to be better. The menu was a 666 menu, 6 starters, 6 mains and 6 desserts. So because it was a small menu, we were aware that as more people visited us more frequently, they would soon work their way through the choices.

And also, we were paranoid that others would copy us, and for good reason, because they did. But it wasn’t other vegetarian restaurants who copied us, no, they carried on with vegetable stack and stuffed aubergine, no, it was the meat restaurants.

But of course, it was a compliment, however, as we were the vegetarian restaurant, therefore second rate, people assumed that it was them who came up with the idea and we were the copycats.

So inventing new methods and applications for food items became a daily discussion.

If you think we deserve three quid to buy a cup of tea for writing this, that’s the button.

It was the same with the wines by the glass, if you had visited us fairly frequently, you would have tried those wines already.

An explanation, restaurants offer bottles of wine, and also some wines by the glass. “Hang on” I hear you say, “Why can’t all your wines be available by the glass?”

Well, because of waste and cost. Let’s say that all of the wines were available by the glass, even that fancy Blossom Hill. If someone bought a glass of that at £30 a shot, and nobody else did, then it would go sour. So it makes financial sense to have only a few wines by the glass.

But Donna had a logical solution to this. Now that we were busier, if we offered some more of our wines by the glass, chances are that more would be sold, and therefore it wouldn’t be wasted.

So that’s what we did, we increased the wine by the glass offering to give more choice. And we added in some of the more expensive bottles too, so that rich people could have a glass of something special with their lunch.

This increased revenue also, don’t forget, wines by the glass are marked up slightly higher, just to cover any wastage, and because restaurants need to make money.

Now then, back to something which has been mentioned previously. Butter.

Ritchie had been experimenting and come up with something quite different, smoked butter. But don’t get any daft ideas that we were putting butter in a big tin box and and burning some pallets underneath it.

No, there was an easier method.

“Sounds good Ritchie, are you just adding the smoked oil to it?”

“Yes, that’s correct Andrew, I’ve calculated the exact quantity and we can measure the amount on the micro scales.”

So, just so you know, there’s a lot of smoky sauces and dips on the market, but they all include other ingredients, garlic, paprika and all that.

But we used something called smoked oil. It wasn’t cheap, but it was powerful, and all it tasted of was smoke. I asked the manufacturer how they made it and they said something about soaking burnt oak in vats of oil. Not sure if that was the truth, but I believed them.

Myself, Bobster, Emma and Ritchie stood around the workbench in the kitchen and spread some of this smoked butter onto pieces of bread. I was a bit dubious, I liked the idea, but I was afraid that it would be overpowering.

As we stood in a semi circle around that bench and tried the smoked butter, we all smiled, it was so good, not overpowering at all.

Emma made a good point, “When I tasted it without the bread it lingered too long on the palate, but with the bread, it doesn’t. It’s really good Ritchie.”

And Bobster agreed, “Yea, pretty cool stuff, people will like this.”

Nowhere near as good as Lurpak.

I always found it interesting that neither Emma or Bobster were envious of Ritchie, he came up with some pretty amazing ideas and they were always complimentary. Probably because he involved them in the process, or maybe because he never basked in his achievements, he was way too cool and logical for that.

“Yes I agree Robert, because bread and butter are the first thing guests experience, an inventive version establishes the meal’s character from the start.”

“Yea Ritchie, that’s what I was gonna say.”

But Emma added something, “You know what guys, it’s a shame we can’t present it in a better fashion. I mean, the butter looks good on the black slates, but it would be great if we could come up with something else.”

We went silent for a few minutes, then none of us came up with a solution.

But we needed to, Emma was right, so I halted the butter game, “Before we start using this smoked butter, let’s use up the sea salted first and that’ll give us time to think of a way to present the smoky stuff.”

Fast forward a couple of days to one of the long London walks Donna and I often did. This was basically us just setting off from our flat and walking in any direction for a few hours, there was always something to see.

Well then, we ended up in a part of London called Southwark, and we were on a long stretch called Walworth Road. Not much going on really, until we found a shop called G Baldwin and Co. Apparently it’s been there for donkeys years, but that’s London, you’re always finding something new to explore. Anyway, Donna wanted to have a look in this shop because it sold lotions and potions, she likes that type of thing.

But when we were inside, I was amazed, this place was buck snorter. They sold dried herbs and spices which deffo weren’t in Tesco.

Chinese Angelica, Buchu Herb, Agnus Castus, Devils Claw, Marigold Petals, Moringa Powder and of course, your very favourite, Copal Gum.

I’d never heard of most of the stuff in this shop, and even the stuff I had heard of, Burdock Root and Frankincense, I had no idea what it was used for. But……….if any of these powders, petals and leaves could be used in food, that would be very special.

So, while Donna browsed the Australian flower essences purifying cream section, I hassled the bloke behind the counter.

I held up packets of herbs and asked the questions, “Here mate, what does this tase of?”

“I’m not sure sir, I’ve never tried it.”

“What about this Dandelion Root, what’s this used for?”

“It’s a digestive stimulant sir.”

“What about this Burdock Root? Is that what they put in Dandelion and Burdock, the drink?’

“I’m not sure if it’s actually Burdock Root that they use, but it’s quite bitter.”

After checking that they weren’t poisonous, I bought a selection of herbs I’d never heard of.

As he bagged them up I asked, “So what do other people do with all these herbs and roots?”

“Theres a variety of things people make, most make teas with them. But some people make their own lotions with some of our powders, and oils that’s why we sell the bottles and jars.”

And at that, he pointed to a corner of the shop, and in that corner were loads of glass jars and bottles, all different sizes. Maybe Donna could make her own lotions and potions.

At first I showed no interest in the jars and bottles, but something came to me. I paid for the funny herbs and strolled over to the corner, so many different sizes and shapes, and they were a brown colour, you know, like a beer bottle. And they came with little black screw on lids.

A brilliant idea popped into my jumbled head, we could pipe the smoked butter into these and screw the lid on, then when diners opened them, they would smell the smoke.

“Donna, I’ve bought some weird herbs, but look, these little jars will be good for the butter, AND, they’re cheap.”

“Hiya again mate, we’ll take twenty five of these jars please.”

He boxed them up and we took them to the restaurant the next day.

“Hey guys look, we bought these for the butter. I was thinking that when the lid is on the smoke aroma will build up, then when the diner takes the lid off, they’ll smell the smoke.”

They agreed that this was a good idea, and we could have all the butter piped into them before service, then just send them up with the bread. Easy.

Then we came to the herbs, “Look at these beauties, Marigold Leaf, Shatavari Root, it’s all going on here.”

We stood in that semi circle around that workbench again and tasted the strange herbs.

Emma went first, “Oh my god that’s awful.”

Bobster tried the Burdock Root, “Shit guys, that’s terrible, it’s so bitter.”

Ritchie and I dipped into a couple of packets, but Emma and Bobster were right, they were horrible.

“Right, that’s that sorted, throw them in the bin.”

I was disappointed, I had already started dreaming up ways to use them, but they were just too rough.

And as the four of us drank glasses of water to take the taste away, Bobster had an idea.

“Guys, I was thinking yea, what if we could somehow get real smoke in those little jars. Then when the customers takes the lid off, a plume of smoke would leave the jar. Imagine that at the table.”

“Bobster, that’s brilliant, but I don’t think we could get that to happen.”

Or could we?

OK, thanks for reading this and catch you next week.

Andrew and Donna