Part 8. Bend And Break
We go 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and consider smashing glass. Oh yea, and a recipe for jam and bread Bakewell, it's a savoury dish by the way.
Welcome back, one and all. Quick update for those who may be a bit lost. It’s still 2004, around October time. We have the keys for the restaurant, we’ve bought lots of rickety furniture and we have a plan of what we’re going to offer to the general public. So the next thing we need to do before we actually open, is turn an internet cafe into a vegetarian restaurant, which doesn't look like a vegetarian restaurant. No DayGlo colours, no yoga posters, no hemp candles for sale and no pictures by local artists. Sorry local artists, you're pictures of York Minster are great, but every vegetarian restaurant had them, so we couldn’t. So like the food menu, the restaurant decor couldn’t be screaming vegetarian!
So, to give you an idea of what we were dealing with, let’s paint a picture of the internet cafe which we had taken possession of. It was situated down a small street called Swinegate, which is around three hundred meters long, and at the end it turns right and becomes Grape Lane. But just before the turn, there's a snickleway (a little alley which provides a short cut to other streets, Yorks has lots of them) called Coffee Yard, which runs through to Stonegate. Sounds very quaint, doesn’t it?
About a third of the way down was the internet cafe, (kids, back then there were no smart phones, so if you needed to look something up, you sat in a special cafe and paid money to sit at a computer) we seem to recall that it was called Gateway. When you entered, the first thing you noticed was that the walls were painted a very deep dark blue, so you felt like you’d wandered off Swinegate and ended up 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. And in the front section there was kitchen worktop around every wall, with cheap stools positioned against it. Kinda like a breakfast bar for twenty five people.
After this there was a counter, again with a big slab of kitchen worktop sitting on it. There was a back bar, with a timber frame behind that, which was covered with a large sheet of glass to keep the back area separate. Don’t know why. On this back bar, the then current owner made drinks and snacks to sell to the people who were sat at the computers. There was also a little storage cupboard just off the counter, like an under stairs cupboard, filled with junk, as they often are. After this beautiful counter, there was a little area with tables and chairs, a bit like all the co-working spaces you see now. At the back of the building there was an office where the previous owner did website development. Then at the side of that, a narrow corridor led down to the toilets. Pretty standard stuff.
Above our heads was one of those suspended ceilings, like those you see in offices, you know, with tiles in a grid system. The floor was tiled, from memory an uplifting pale grey. So all in all the place was hardly a war zone, but it needed work to get it to where we wanted, and to change it from looking like an office space.
And who did we employ to do all this work? The answer was, Us. Maybe that’s a working class thing, you know, when we were kids, if the avocado coloured bath was leaking your Mam would suggest getting a plumber in, then the old fella would engage a shocked face and firmly state that it was nothing and he would do it. So it was ingrained in us to do it ourselves, AKA, DIY.
But also, although we’d gotten hold of the cash from the bank, it was melting away quickly. As you know we'd bought crockery, cutlery and furniture but also there was the landlords 6 months holding deposit, solicitors fees, a 3 months rent payment in advance, business rates, kitchen extraction and many bits that became bigger bits, all helping to make that pot smaller. So we had to be careful, we also needed to buy stock and lots of other items before we opened. And don't forget, we weren't working, so that chunk was also paying our mortgagee, bills and food.
So briefly, this was the our DIY plan. There wasn't a mood board in sight! Just imagination and necessity. All the walls would be painted white, this was because the furniture we had bought was generally oak and mahogany, and would look good against white. Plus, it’s an easy colour to touch up when Barry from Barnsley bashes his chair against the wall. And, if you chose something like Dulux Whispering Pink, you could guarantee that a year later it would be discontinued. However, there were a lot of walls to cover, and Dulux 20,000 Leagues Blue, would take a lot of covering.
That ceiling, well, we had an idea, we would leave it in place and put a new ceiling over it. We would buy these lats of wood called tongue and groove cladding, fix them together so they became sheets, nail then to long thin battens and then tie them to the grid system with cable ties.
Let’s explain to those who are not very handy with this whole DIY thing or have never browsed the shelves of B&Q. This is possibly the biggest bodge job, the biggest cowboy trick, the shortest of short cuts……..ever. We were considering holding the ceiling up with little plastic cable ties (Google them), expecting that sheets of timber, running across the ceiling, with little spotlights poking through, would stay in place with plastic ties. A bit dodgy. But you know what, it most certainly did. It didn’t move one bit. Never fell on anybody's head or anything. Brilliant.
We would keep the bar counter type thing where it was, to move it elsewhere would have taken too much time and money, plus, it was kinda nice to have two separate areas in the restaurant. But that fake dark green marble worktop needed to go, it looked like a mass of seaweed, probably part of the 20,000 Leagues theme. And it would be replaced with something which is now fairly trendy, scaffolding boards. Yup, we looked at prices for some replacement worktop, then looked away, too much dosh. So we popped into a builders yard one day and asked how much it would cost for scaffolding boards. For the amount we needed, and I still remember it now, it was thirty quid. Spot on! So we decided that we would cut the boards, then screw them onto the counter, then, using an electric plane, shave delves randomly along the edges so that tourists would think it had been worn away over hundreds of years by Yorkshire folk. A quick coat of oak stain and there you go. But first we needed to remove the big seaweed worktop. OH WAIT! No we didn’t, we could just screw the scaffolding boards straight onto it. Brilliant. See, cutting corners is great.
Now you may recall from a few paragraphs earlier that there was a larger pane of glass on a type of framework on the back of the bar. By large, we’re talking about eight foot be four foot, or two and a half metres by just over one metre in new money. My idea was to remove it, take it out the back and give it a good belting so that it would break up and fit in our little van, then we could skip it. Donna thought this was a bit dangerous, so did I, but exciting also.
Oh yea, the kitchen, well, the office. It was a decent size, probably a bit too big, but changing the size would be a faff.
Being an office it was in decent order, the floor was tiled so that’s that sorted, there was an alcove at the end which could be the wash up area, and the water could be connected via the supply to the sink in the bathrooms. A big cost was the extraction, we had contacted a guy from Leeds and he was putting a price together, told him to sharpen his pencil. The only issue was the walls, they needed some kind of washable covering, yes it could be painted with a washable paint, but environmental health would be borderline on this. Sometimes it’s OK, sometimes it ain’t. But luckily my mate, Stevie G (on the M.I.C.) had recently opened a pub and had used something called Dairy Board in his kitchen, thin white plastic sheets which you could screw onto the wall. They were quite cheap and easy to fit, so we would use the same thing.
Right, this is getting a bit wordy so we’ll have to tell you about our interior design skills next time, and that includes the extra special bespoke flooring…..
So we covered the windows with sheets of the Evening Gazette and put up a note to let people know that a vegetarian restaurant would be opening in a few weeks. That’s called optimism. Our daily routine would be, driving a packed van from Stockton on Tees every morning, parking up about ten minutes away because you couldn’t park within the city walls, and drag bags of gear to our project. But on the way, and no judging here, we would grab a Pot Noodle from the shop for lunch. Remember, there was no kitchen, and we didn’t want to be running out during the day for grub, no time for that luxury. So for now it was Noodle Chow Mein and Bombay Bad Boy for us.
But one last thing, to compensate for the Unliever lunch, we had a little CD player and a copy of Hopes and Fears by Keane to listen to, over and over again.
Recipe time, but first a story. In the early days, one of the dishes we had on the menu was a savoury Bakewell tart. It was a pastry case, chilli jam and a savoury almond sponge, served with a ratatouille dressing. A customer came in one day, ordered it, then when it arrived, declared that it was a Bakewell tart, then walked out.
So in his honour, here’s a recipe for a new version of that dish….
Tomato Jam, And Bread ‘Bakewell’
Romaine Lettuce, Charred Beans, Tomato Vinegar, Garlic And Almond Scraps
Probably does four as a starter, or thereabouts. No dairy, so vegan as well. You can get some of this done the day before if you want, the jam, vinegar and charred beans will be fine sitting in the fridge overnight. You can substitute Romaine lettuce for something like Iceberg if you can’t find any.
I like Romaine as it has some crunch, but it still knows its place in the lettuce world. We’re using cheap white bread for this because it doesn't have much flavour, therefore it doesn't do a flavour overtake on the other ingredients.
Ingredients
Tomato jam
2 Tomatoes, firm are good because they're easier to grate.
30g Granulated sugar.
1tsp Vinegar, malt vinegar is best for the colour.
Salt
Tomato Vinegar
Tomato skins from the jam recipe.
50g Malt vinegar, the brown stuff.
10g Granulated sugar.
20g Water
10g Tomato purée
Salt
Olive oil
Charred beans
Beans in a pod, for example, runner beans or green beans.
Salt.
Batter
75g Flaked almonds. I couldn’t find any here in Spain so had to
use whole, unblanched almonds. Pretend you haven't noticed.
160g Lovely water.
½ tsp Salt
100g Self raising flour
1tbspn Oil, any type
___________________________
1 large, or 2 small cloves of garlic, finely chopped.
Romaine lettuce.
Sliced white bread, 8 slices, if you’re doing this for 4.
Method
Now look, it seems like a lot, but it’s actually quite easy.
Jam
-Cut the tomatoes in half and make a V at the core to remove, you know, that
bit where the stalk attaches. Now, grate the tomatoes, flesh side, against the coarse side of a grater. Try and get as much of the flesh as possible, but there will be some left, don't fret.
-Keep the skins to one side.
-Add the 30g of sugar to a saucepan with 2 tablespoons water, DO NOT STIR.
Put on a high heat and allow the sugar to darken to a brown colour.
-As soon as it changes to brown add tomatoes, be careful, they spit. Add 1 teaspoon malt vinegar and allow to simmer so the liquid dissolves. This could take around ten minutes. Stir occasionally to prevent sticking. It needs to be thick like jam. Have look at the pics.
-When thickened like jam, taste, then add salt, only a pinch will be needed, hence no measurement.
Tomato vinegar
-Add, tomato skins, sugar, vinegar and water to a small pan. Bring to a boil then simmer for one minute. Remove from the heat and allow to cool.
-When cool, drain into a medium size bowl through a sieve, and using the back of a spoon, push the skins against the sieve so all the beautifulness is captured. Throw the skins away then add a pinch of salt and the tomato purée. Mix.
Beans
-Trim the top and bottom from the beans, then slice into 3cm pieces, but on an angle so they look good. Heat a frying pan until very hot, but don't use any oil. Add the beans and let them sit for a few seconds in the hot pan. Then give the a quick flip around until they all have little char marks. Basically, burn them a bit.
-Once done, add a splash of water, we’re talking a couple of tablespoons, just to steam them a bit and finish them off. When the water has evaporated, put the beans on a plate. Sprinkle with a little salt.
Give the pan a quick clean and dry it.
Batter
-Give the almonds a quick blitz in a blender, or pop in a bag and give a quick wack with a rolling pin. KEEP some texture though, we don't want almond flour.
-Now, heat the frying pan you washed earlier, to medium. Add the almonds and give them a quick toasting, don't burn them. Remove. Give the pan a wipe.
-Add almonds to a mixing bowl, then add the 150g water, salt, a drizzle of oil then the SR flour and whisk until smooth. Leave the garlic out for now.
-Here we go, add a couple of centimetres of oil to frying pan, sunflower or vegetable is ok. Olive oil would be too strong a flavour, plus it’s a bit of a waste. Get the oil to medium heat.
-Slice the crusts from the bread, or cut our circles as I did. Coat one side with the tommy jam, then add another piece of bread as a lid. Press the edges firmly to keep the jam in. Then dip in the batter and make sure they're coated, push the batter over them a bit if needed, but don't go overboard.
-Carefully add to the hot oil, they should sizzle a bit, but not go mental and explode. See if you can get a few in the pan.
-You should have some batter left. If not, add a few tablespoons of water to whatever mix is actually left and stir.
-Add the garlic to the remaining batter. Mix.
-When the sandwiches are browned on one side, turn over and brown the other side. When done, stick on a plate and keep near the stove to stay warm.
-Keep the oil on medium heat, and using a teaspoon drizzle the garlic and almond batter into the oil. It should end up in little bits, like scraps.Turn them now and again. When they are browned, remove and add to a plate to drain.
-To plate, add an equal amount of olive oil to the tommy vinegar and mix. Pop a few leaves of the Roamaine lettuce to one side of a plate. Now add the green beans, then dress with a little of the tommy dressing, then the scraps. If your battered sandwiches are cold, heat the oil and give them a hot flash.
Serve with the salad.
-Eat it.
Catch up next week as we draw a witches hat for York council, meet the locals, and distress a floor. Thanks for reading, Andrew and Donna
I do hope you never freelanced out your DIY skills. Although cable ties are amazing things. Bakewell looks great!